As a small child I put up no smoking signs just before my grandparents arrived for a visit. They were both smokers and they were annoyed and insulted by the signs I put up. Both of them lived to a ripe old age. But when I was older I experimented with smoking, then I developed a habit of one or two a day. By the time I was 19, I was smoking about 5 to 10 a day, depending on what I was doing. By the time I entered hospital at age 21, I would sit in the smoke room with the other patients and staff and have good ol' chat about life, the universe and everything. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I came out of hospital early in 1996. In 1997 I was reacquainted with a friend I had made in hospital. He smoked a lot more than me. I spent long sessions with him chatting and having a laugh, but my smoking levels increased a lot over that time, to keep up with his smoking. I went from 5 - 10 to almost thirty. Now 23 years later I am totally hooked. I smoke between 30-35 a day; rollies and straights.
The smoke room in hospital was the best place to be. When I was there I made some very good, lifelong friends. My three closest friends are now dead, having killed themselves. I am left facing a life of smoking - a legacy of that social side to smoking. The government thinks that by constantly increasing the tax on cigarettes that they driving away smokers, making them quit. I haven't voluntarily smoked for at least the last fifteen years. I don't want to smoke, but my addiction is strong.
When you're a smoker, you grow more nicotine receptors in your brain over time. However, there are nicotine receptors all over your body, not just in the brain. So you have a physical addiction. I have tried to give up dozens of times unsuccessfully. The government knows that mentally unwell people are more likely to smoke. They also know that there is a hardcore group of smokers who will never be able or willing to quit smoking and yet they keep increasing the cost. They also know that the high levels of tax are driving many smokers to seek out sources of duty free, smuggled tobacco products. Some of these products are counterfeit and contain poisons. A lot of these people are just trying to earn a little extra. But some are Eastern European crime gangs. The money you spend with them goes to fund things like drug smuggling and dealing, and people trafficking.
There is no real help for mentally unwell people for giving up smoking. I have tried every single smoking treatment available more than once. The closest I got was going cold turkey. I was in bed for a week, unable to sleep, waking up every twenty minutes to drink water and my mouth was very dry the whole time. My body was not willing to let go of nicotine and in the end I went back to cigarettes just to make it stop. Just so I could finally get some sleep.
Smoking will kill me. I have already had one heart attack. I cough heavily on and off throughout the day. I will probably soon get a diagnosis of COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). After that is a slow decline followed by death. The only thing that will save me is a massive change in lifestyle. And this is something I have tried hard to do, but I have failed so miserable, because my mental health is so bad.
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